Stories | Tin Fork
The Real Chinese Deal
Published Aug. 13, 2008
I take the pig's rectum, hold it on the fork. This is it. Chomp. Try not to think, I tell myself. I mean, if this wasn't what it is, I'd quite enjoy it. A little rubbery, ...
Health Food on a Bun?
Published Aug. 6, 2008
“Yippee! It’s okay to eat burgers again!” This is our neighbor Lisa. She’s yelling it from the balcony of her apartment. Us burger-loving burghers, Carla and I, gather ’neath her balcony. “Burgers are back!” Lisa ...
Yum! Leftovers!
Published July 30, 2008
You ask, what do I like about Tijuana? This is what: I’m jes wandering down Fourth, heading toward Constitución, when I come across an impromptu clump of guys sitting around a shoeshine booth, “Bolería El ...
International Heat Published July 23, 2008
Hey. Here it goes. The scalp. Prickling, breaking out in sweat beads. Ladies and gentlemen, we have liftoff. Tonight I stopped outside this big red-and-yellow ... More Comments (2)
Free Lunch…Almost Published July 16, 2008
Hank should so be here. So many freebies, and all healthy. I’m lost in a swirl of customers, ranging up and down the lunchtime food ... More Comment (1)
Wake-Up Pizza Published July 9, 2008
Pizza for breakfast? Gimme a break. And yet…here it sits, before my very eyes. I stand gawping, Sunday mawnin’, bleary-eyed, even now, around 11. I’ve ... More Post a comment
Reunion Recipes Published July 2, 2008
Ahhh... Slurp, burp, slurp again. Pinky finger raised, of course. I clink my cawfee cup down in its saucer. Sitting like a captain of industry ... More Comment (1)
History and a Side Salad Published June 25, 2008
Boy, this is straight out of The Jungle Book. A ginormous fig tree spreads over me. I have to tilt my head back to look ... More Comment (1)
Ruthless Sandwich Published June 18, 2008
It’s an amazing feeling, sitting up to a bar watching the Padres on a bunch of great screens, including one that’s 12 feet, while the ... More Comment (1)
Happiness, Ocean, and Kebabs Published June 11, 2008
Baktiar has surely found the sweet spot. This is where folks wandering down Fourth start running out of steam. They can’t see anything ahead except ... More Post a comment
The Counter of Monte Cristo Published June 4, 2008
‘The problem with La Jolla,” says Siamak, “is that its people are not experienced in sociability. It is a wonderful town, but it is very ... More Post a comment
The Vanishing Cafe Published May 28, 2008
Hey! What’s up? Wass goin’ on? Was it something I said? A moment ago, I was sitting in the middle of a sidewalk café, surrounded ... More Post a comment
Guadalajara, Basically Published May 21, 2008
Love? This could be it. The question hits me mid-bite into my second-ever quesotaco. It’s a scrunch of crispy grilled cheese over little chunks of ... More Post a comment
Burgers and Carousels Published May 14, 2008
Hank had been on about this for the longest time. He’s a carpenter and wannabe carver, and he reckons the carving of the horses in ... More Post a comment
They Loved Him in Basra Published May 7, 2008
Najem Al Ekabi sits beneath the forest of red, white, and black Iraqi flags. He’s intent on a video on his laptop. “Look, see?” he ... More Post a comment
Hideaway Too Hidden Published April 30, 2008
Clock’s ticking toward midnight down here in the deepest Stingaree. I’m heading for Ciro’s, the pizzeria. Why? Because I’ve spent the last couple hours holding ... More Comments (2)
Breakfast with a Side of Fun Published April 23, 2008
“I’ve got troubles,” I say. I’m trying to explain why I’m half an hour late. “Trolley security. Hauled me off the damned train. Lemon Grove. ... More Comment (1)
Playing Chicken Published April 16, 2008
‘I.B.” “O.B.” “I.B.!” “O.B.!!” “OK. How’s about Oceanside?” “I tell you, man,” says Hank. “Nothing beats O.B.” We’re ambling west down Newport, arguing, as per ... More Post a comment
Pig-Out on Campus Published April 9, 2008
‘See? Skin on the ends. Never, in Fronce.” That’s how Eric says it, of course. “Fronce.” He’s French. He’s pointing to his French fry. It ... More Post a comment
Life Is Good Published April 2, 2008
Help me out here. Why is the state of Virginia called a commonwealth? And who was Virginia? And, oh yeah. Do Virginians make crazy omelets ... More Comment (1)
Killer Kabobs Published March 26, 2008
The vapors, the vapors. Oh, man. Me thinketh I shall swoon. Unlike Bill Clinton, I inhale deeply. Rose aromas? Cardamom? Honey? It sits steaming under ... More Comment (1)
Dank and Shivery Published March 19, 2008
“We’re opportunivores,” says Brian. “No,” says Jake. “We’re freegans. Like vegans, but only when it’s free.” Everybody’s sitting around two tables here inside Roots, chatting ... More Comment (1)
St. Patty's Day Picks Published March 13, 2008
Most everyone knows about San Diego’s widely publicized St. Patrick’s Day celebrations like Hooleyfest in La Mesa and ShamROCK in the Gaslamp, but for those ... More Post a comment
Under the Sailfish Published March 12, 2008
“I bit my arm, I sucked the blood/ And cried ‘A sail! A sail!’ ” I swear, that’s how I feel right now. Like Ye ... More Post a comment
The Corporate O Published March 5, 2008
Could this be it? Cue music: “This is the dawning of the Age of Aquarius…” I mean, if I was looking for a sign, this ... More Post a comment
Willy's Tip Published Feb. 27, 2008
Aha. There he is. Right down the pasaje. Willy Clauson. He’s sitting under a way-big vaquero hat, smoking a cigar and playing his guitar in ... More Post a comment
Before Tamed Fire Published Feb. 20, 2008
“In case I haven’t mentioned it lately,” says Debbie the bus driver through her microphone, “I love my passengers. Yee-haw!” Hey, it’s okay. This is ... More Post a comment
Tell Me about the Cheese Sauce Published Feb. 13, 2008
History in Chula Vista? You betcha. Like, the other day I came across a couple of geezers outside an eatery, yakkin’ away like there was ... More Post a comment
Boa Constrictor Flex-Gut Published Feb. 6, 2008
Guys asleep on the sidewalk. Guys shuffling past with walking sticks. Guys pushing shopping carts filled with their belongings. Guys rolling by in electric scooters ... More Post a comment
Anyone Can Dance Published Jan. 30, 2008
“I tell you, man, they were dancing.” “Dancing in a pizza place? Yeah, right. The pizzicato waltz?” Hank swears he saw it, last night, through ... More Comments (3)
No Lie Published Jan. 23, 2008
Rose turns her back on me. She picks up the phone. “Hello? No, I don’t see him.” She puts the phone down. “I can’t tell ... More Post a comment
Delicate Gut-Liner Published Jan. 16, 2008
It’s morning. Feeling lousy. No, wasn’t grog last night. Toothache. Normally, I never take pills. But Carla persuaded me. Took an antibiotic. Gripped my gut ... More Post a comment
Organic Heaven Published Jan. 9, 2008
Gotta be careful here. To say something’s the best. But…oh, to heck with it. This is the best freakin’ sandwich I can remember munching, okay? ... More Post a comment
Pepe's Place Published Jan. 2, 2008
“Gang warily,” my Scottish grandpa said. “Go carefully, ’specially when it comes to birthday surprises. Women hate them.” I was thinking of that the other ... More Post a comment
Yes, Nuttyish Published Dec. 27, 2007
Lordy. Just lost my veg-inity. Gulp. Sitting here at the green counter. Biting into my first-ever raw taco. Looking ahead to start the New Year ... More Post a comment
Much Ado About Mutton Published Dec. 20, 2007
We're talking a little end-of-year chowdown. "So," I say. "Lamb okay?" "Baa-humbug!" says Hank. "What's this, the Mutton Jeff show?" We're cruising in Hank's Camry ... More Post a comment
Burger Bowl Published Dec. 13, 2007
Kevin's bag is still sitting by the front door, between the building's bowling-alley side and the restaurant side. It's ten at night. The guy has ... More Post a comment
Can't Nobody Lick Us Published Dec. 6, 2007
Paddy Wilson, please meet your family at the front entrance." The loudspeaker crackles loud and then soft, depending on the wind. Wow. Kobey's Swap Meet. ... More Post a comment
Mighty Hungary Published Nov. 29, 2007
Mar’a 'Yes! Spared!" says Hank. All the way up 78 we've seen valleys blackened by the fires. Hulks of burned cars, rusted frames of trailers, ... More Post a comment
Burger Creativity Published Nov. 21, 2007
Jeez, mate. I'd been honing my finest Australian for this place. Hazitgyne? Box of birds, mate, you bloody galah. I'm getting my taste buds prepared ... More Comment (1)
High-Class Grub Published Nov. 15, 2007
The jig was pretty much up the moment I opened my mouth. "Which one will fill me up the most?" I asked. Not that Will ... More Post a comment
Stuffed Published Nov. 8, 2007
Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7-8-9. Yuk yuk. I think of that joke every time I come down here between Sixth ... More Post a comment
On the Line Published Nov. 1, 2007
"Gimme four cases of beef jerky, two cases of Cracker Jacks, servings for 200 of cheesecake individual, eight splits of Reese's peanut butter cups..." Here ... More Comment (1)
Tiger Woods, Baby Published Oct. 25, 2007
Stop press: Oh, man. Since I wrote this, the fires engulfed us. Last chance I had to call Debbie at the Campo Diner, on Monday, ... More Post a comment
The Uphill Salad Published Oct. 18, 2007
Saying of the day: A poca voglia, tutte le scuse sono buone. It's on the sandwich board outside. "What da heck does that mean?" I ... More Post a comment
Wickedest Published Sept. 20, 2007
"Skogging, man. You should be skogging." Say what? "Everyone else is, down Mission Beach, PB. It's the Next Big Thing. Shake off all those carbs ... More Post a comment
Spokes-man Published Sept. 13, 2007
Oh, boy. A red and white Western Flyer. My childhood dream. And wow. Right next to it the monster I've always wanted to conquer: a ... More Post a comment
Art You Can Eat Published Sept. 6, 2007
What's that? Think I hear someone plucking away on a guitar in the dark, right here on the street. Ah yes. He's sitting at a ... More Post a comment
Sonora Style Published Aug. 30, 2007
Ten at night. I'm walking up the Paseo de los Héroes, Tijuana's Rio district. Man, this is an avenue. Quadruple rows of trees, giant statues ... More Post a comment
Kebob Invasion Published Aug. 23, 2007
The pedicab driver hauls up to the sidewalk. He leaves all his lights blinking and darts into a refurbished brick building. A couple of minutes ... More Comment (1)
Tastes Like Family Published Aug. 16, 2007
Aaargh! Coffee slopped. Got a wobbly table. Again. Why? Four-legged tables! The curse of the drinking classes. When are coffee places gonna learn: only three-legged ... More Post a comment
Octoburgers Published Aug. 9, 2007
"You've gotta go," my friend Héctor said about three weeks ago. "They're unique. Delicious." So, a couple of days later, I'm down there. Why? To ... More Post a comment
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