Stories | T.G.I.F.
I am, in fact, very much related to Conan the Barbarian and, by extension, the governor of California
Published Aug. 13, 2008
It will have been some weeks after the San Diego comic convention by the time this sees print, but it hasn't happened yet as I write this. I'm hoping to avoid the thing if possible, but ...
SciFi Summer
Published Aug. 6, 2008
Hot enough for you? I’m counting on the heat still being a predominant if subliminal influence this first week of August. As I often do this time of year, I find myself reaching for science ...
Intellectual Delinquents
Published July 30, 2008
This last weekend of the month I find myself in Mission Valley, poolside at the Promenade luxury-resort condominiums, across the street from Sears. I’m with my son at the home of my high school friend ...
The Vagaries of Publishing Published July 23, 2008
In six weeks or so it will be nine years since I started this column in 1999. “TGIF” was the brainchild of senior editor Judith ... More Comment (1)
I’ll pretty much dismiss Adam Sandler’s entire body of work. Published July 16, 2008
The price of gas. I don’t know how many times I’ve been asked, “When are you going to write something about the price of gas?” ... More Post a comment
Blackwood Published July 9, 2008
“Blackwood stopped writing here, unsure how to proceed. Was he writing a column for The Free Weekly (otherwise known as the Freek), his column — ... More Post a comment
Dependence Day Published July 2, 2008
Thoughts on Independence Day: I have very little at the moment. Independence, I mean. I have plenty of thoughts, Bub. I’m back in the hospital ... More Comments (2)
Best Man? Published June 25, 2008
This approaching Sunday, the 29th, will be the birthday, assuming he is still living, of Andrew “Legend” Stevens. Andrew was best man at my wedding ... More Post a comment
Crossroads Published June 18, 2008
As I begin this I am looking out the back door onto the rain-spattered deck, which in turn looks out on a common garden area ... More Post a comment
The Whole Friday the 13th Thing Published June 11, 2008
I suppose it can be classed as a superstition that I have an irrational fear of things going too well. I look forward to these: ... More Comments (3)
The Swordsmen Published June 4, 2008
This is being written amid days in a row of May Gray. It may be a safe bet that you are reading it in the ... More Post a comment
I'm Afraid of Americans Published May 28, 2008
I am sitting on my patio in mild shadow under the blades of a broad-leafed banana tree and late-spring sky washed with high clouds like ... More Comment (1)
The Devil and a Friend of His Published May 21, 2008
“They were strict vegetarians, even shunning eggs, and throwing away any food that the ‘shadow of an Englishman had crossed.’ ” This is a quote ... More Post a comment
The Gift of Music Published May 14, 2008
Did you miss Mother’s Day? Did you fail to observe it and your mother is still alive? I did for many years, even as a ... More Post a comment
Beethoven and the Ladies Published May 7, 2008
“He had become a public figure, as no composer had done before. Unlike composers of the preceding generation, he had never been a purveyor of ... More Post a comment
Like Young Published April 30, 2008
ZZ Top, those Southern Dukes of Riff Rock, will be at Harrah’s Rincon Casino a week from this Saturday night, the tenth. I’d like to ... More Comments (5)
Taking Dancing for Granted Published April 23, 2008
I am asked fairly often what I write about, and I can’t let it go as simply “Fridays.” There is love, death, cabbages, kings, my ... More Comments (12)
Let the Old Brain Percolate Published April 16, 2008
The dates attached to Thursday through Sunday of this week, or rather weekend, have a series of associations for me. Let me have my coffee, ... More Comment (1)
You Should Go to Church Published April 9, 2008
I have pretty much done this anyway, but I should make a more formal proclamation, I suppose, that TGIF encompasses weekends as well as Fridays ... More Comments (5)
Voices of the Damned Published April 2, 2008
Spring is in the air and a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of love. My thoughts are turning to an old love this morning ... More Comments (4)
Cavalcade of Raunch Published March 26, 2008
There is no way around it, not for several more weeks; I can’t get out, cruising on crutches to look into neat stuff to do ... More Comments (2)
Bad Winters Published March 19, 2008
Friday, today, I took a taxi to the office. The driver looked familiar, though I had forgotten his name. He told me but wishes to ... More Comments (2)
Oprah and Mr. Frey Published March 12, 2008
I am not alone this Friday. Much of the county — certainly North County, where I am holed up, my foot encased in fiberglass and ... More Comments (3)
Greeks in the Streets Published March 5, 2008
“With some important exceptions, scholars and translators, from the 19th Century onwards, have been virtually at one in their indifference to Seven Against Thebes; an ... More Comments (6)
Welcome to Tool Town Published Feb. 27, 2008
Tourism is, of course, huge in this town. Myself, I never thought of San Diego as a destination. I’d given the place pretty much no ... More Comments (2)
So Much Comedy, So Little in My Life Published Feb. 20, 2008
San Diego Theatresports: The Funhouse (6822 El Cajon Boulevard) When: Fridays at 7:45 p.m. Saturdays at 7:45 p.m. Saturdays at 9:45 p.m. “A cross between ... More Comments (3)
Improv Comedy Night Published Feb. 13, 2008
I am looking forward, many weeks down the road, to getting out on a Friday in this town, a payday for me like millions — ... More Comments (3)
Treacherous Bodies Published Feb. 6, 2008
Checking online listings for things I am missing out on (as I recuperate with a broken foot I’ve gone on about), especially Fridays, I happened ... More Comments (12)
Lewis Black Published Jan. 30, 2008
It has been suggested, and rightly so, that I have gone a bit far afield regarding what’s going on in San Diego on Friday nights. ... More Comments (2)
The Mayflower Published Jan. 23, 2008
Friday nights here at what I will call the Mayflower Villa Apartments in San Marcos are a far cry from what goes on those same ... More Comment (1)
I look happy in that home movie, and that was long before I learned to fake happiness. Published Jan. 17, 2008
My original thought here was to write something about winters in the near future — you know, with global warming in mind and all — ... More Comment (1)
He discovered my humanity, warts writ large, and only my death can redeem me. Published Jan. 10, 2008
Thank God it’s January. All of January is the New Year, I’d say, and the equivalent of a Saturday morning on a close-up of a ... More Post a comment
At about ten, everyone was turned away into the rain, mostly to head for bridges under, say, Commercial Street. Published Dec. 20, 2007
I won't bore you with why I was in the hospital yet again, but I will tell you I was pretty much kicked out around ... More Post a comment
"The secret police? What is this, California?" Published Dec. 13, 2007
December in San Diego is, to me, both reassuring and bizarre. On the 11th I will be or have turned 57 years old. This is ... More Post a comment
Had I not been drugged, I doubt I would have been as fearless. Published Dec. 6, 2007
This past 90 days or so have been the worst of my life. Even 14 months of cancer treatment in '86 and '87 weren't worse. ... More Post a comment
"Well, I show up at all your stupid interventions." Published Nov. 21, 2007
I am 57 years old and hardly into video games. Any sort of gaming, for that matter. With the possible exception of Scrabble, all board ... More Post a comment
"I guess I wanted you to be like a superhero or something." Published Nov. 15, 2007
I spent last night, a Friday night, in a Motel 6 somewhere off I-5. I don't know where exactly, but it is right around the ... More Post a comment
"Our roles are reversed. Now I'm taking care of you." Published Nov. 8, 2007
I have been living with my 30-year-old son for three days now. He invited me here while I transfer from one living situation to another. ... More Post a comment
"I am not rich! Maybe comfortable, but..." Published Nov. 1, 2007
A recent Friday night in San Marcos, at the Melrose apartment complex, indicated to me a whole new level of the living comatose. Toe tags ... More Comment (1)
Alcoholism is a progressive, unstoppable disease that wants nothing more than to kill you. Published Oct. 25, 2007
It is certainly tiresome to me to keep writing of the same thing. Some have said they enjoy the hell out of my descriptions of ... More Comment (1)
"Made a mistake, Muriel. Made a mistake." And Don passed out in their bed, fully clothed. Published Sept. 27, 2007
Guess where this column has been. Regular readers will have a pretty good idea, and others won't much care. While in an inpatient therapy group ... More Post a comment
I'm told I have a symphony from hell in my chest. Published Sept. 6, 2007
This great Friday night: fly-blown and beer redolent, resounding with the subsonic backbeat booming from the trunks and rear seats with words of racial hatred, ... More Post a comment
He did not call and I waited like a ditched lover. Published Aug. 23, 2007
I would have thought I could find at least one more joke, yet another gag along the Dean Martin, Foster Brookes line of humor, that ... More Post a comment
"I was given a Mandrax. Do you know what that is?" Published Aug. 9, 2007
His name is Alex Mohamed or Mohamed Alex; he doesn't seem to mind either or both or in any particular order. My height, short and ... More Post a comment
I began counting white picket fences. Eleven all told, in a few blocks. Published Aug. 2, 2007
Having pretty much exhausted the possibilities in writing about the examining of and disappearance into my own navel (put less delicately by one reader and ... More Post a comment
Consistency, I'm learning, is a huge component of what we call sanity. Published July 26, 2007
It is close to my son's 30th birthday. In most ways he is much younger than this, and in even more ways, he is older. ... More Post a comment
I dream of Paul with more frequency in the summer, and he is always a boy. Published July 19, 2007
Summer seems to be more and more a reminder of mortality -- traditionally, poetically, ass-backwards from the norm, I would think. When my English teacher ... More Post a comment
Everybody makes mistakes, John. Everybody. Published July 12, 2007
Cozy up to writers at your own peril. -- Truman Capote In human relationships, kindness and lies are worth a thousand truths. -- Graham Greene ... More Post a comment
Within moments I was actually listening to this nearly 40-year-old record. Pure dumb luck, surely... Published July 5, 2007
Though I have owned and used a computer since 1983, I am like a man who owns a perfectly fine V-8 engine automobile and uses ... More Post a comment
I don't know about you, but if my socks are wet, I can't think about anything else. Published June 28, 2007
Did you ever notice how when you go to sit down at your computer at home to do some work, you notice it really needs ... More Post a comment
People who write books are smarter than everyone else. Everyone knows this. Published June 21, 2007
This is in response to multiple requests for shorter sentences. Re: previous columns, "People are stupid don't you think? I do." Well, that's about it ... More Post a comment
Many of these columns have simply been bad essays. Published June 14, 2007
A column of this size is perfect for the brief essay, and I have done this, in a sense, several times. Never have they been ... More Post a comment
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